Well, the streak is 8. Heh. I'm keeping track of this like sports records or something. Joe D got a hit in 56 straight games, and there's a whole bunch of other consecutive streaks that I can't think of right now. But my streak is days in going to the Y to work out. I got in 50 minutes on the arc bike trainer thingie, then got in another 25 laps in the pool. I now feel muscles in my back and shoulders that I didn't know existed. I did about half my laps just with my arms, on my back. I guess you could call it a butterfly, but I'm sure it didn't look anywhere close. Heh. The lifeguard that almost kicked me out of the pool for not being 18 was there again tonight. He said hello, and I said "If you're here to kick me out again, you're fired!" He laughed, then we talked for about ten minutes. It was wierd because I was the only one in the pool the whole time, and it wasn't even close to closing time yet. Not gonna complain- at least there weren't a bunch of kids running (well splashing) all over the place.

The scale is quickly becoming my friend. It's nice getting on it every other day and weighing one lb less than the last time I hopped on it. Now..I'm sure some of it's water weight or whatever. I'm not obsessed either, it just feels like a big science experiment. I also know that I'm not working or going to school at the moment, and if I was, there's no way in hell I'd be able to keep this up. On the flip side, I wouldn't really have to because I'd be burning more cals walking and stuff. Also, I wouldn't be sleeping until 3pm anymore either.

I certainly hope that none of it is muscle, because I don't wanna lose any of that. But, it's got to still be good. I mean, I'm burning about 750-1,000 cals in working out, and I've cut about 750-1,000 cals off my eating. I'm not starving myself..it's just all the junk is gone, so everything that I'm eating is good stuff. Also, you don't need that much food when you get up at 2pm. Lately, I've been eating an oatmeal pk with some apples for 'breakfast', then two containers of light yogurt during the day, then chicken (roasted) with a couple cups of veggies or a big salad. Then, I usually have some kind of snack (fruit with cool whip or something like that). Even when I stay up until 4am, it's in the house.

I also hit two milestones today that I'm pretty proud of. It's nothing to brag about or nothing to write in my other journal about, but it's important to me. Well anyhow, milestone #1 occured before I went to sleep earlier today. (I stayed up until 4am). Dad brought home oatmeal cookies from Subway. Bastard. I had one after dinner. Well..there were 1 1/2 left over. I had a huge glass of milk at 3am, and the rest of the cookies. Probably 500 extra calories or so that I didn't need. But, you know what? For the first time, I didn't fret about it. I enjoyed every damn bite. In the past, when I start eating well and slip up like that, I go crazy the rest of the day, then start eating horrible again because "well, it doesn't matter- i blew it already". Now, my brain just said "Eh. Oh well. Just do another 30-45 minutes at the Y tomarrow". Heh..I am counting it in my calorie total for today though.

Milestone #2 occured when I went to Kohls before the Y. There's a cami that I wanted to get to go with my black dress. I need it because the back of my bra shows. Kohls put them on sale, and I have a store credit to use. So, I'm trying them on. They are just basic black stretchy tank tops with a 'shelf bra' that my boobs just said "Hah! You can't contain me!" but that's beside the point. The dress covers up every part of the bra except the back, so I can still wear my bra (and will) with the cami. So anyhow, I'm in the fitting room and I can't decide if I should get the L or XL. They are pretty fitted, and I didn't want a bunch of loose fabric under my dress. And for the first time in forever, my brain goes "You better get the L, because when you lose more weight, that XL is going to get big".

That's NEVER happened to me. For a long time, my head has done the opposite "Oh. You better get one with some room in it so when you get fatter it'll still fit". I think that's when it finally hit me- I may not have the confidence or faith in myself when it comes to looking for a job, or whatever, but damnit, I'm not going to be the fat girl anymore. I know eventually, I'm not going to be able to lose a lb every other day. One of these days, I'll get to the point where I won't be able to lose any more at all. And whether that comes a wk from now when I'm still a 12, or when I"m a 10 or whatever, that's ok. But, I'm not going to be the young person who has to spend 10 minutes in the bathroom recovering from walking up two flights of stairs. And I'm not doing this for my family, friends, or so some guy will like me more. I'm doing it for me. And when I lose 10 more lbs or 20 or whatever, no one will be able to take that away from me.

I do know one thing though, I'm getting my hair cut before I go to work for inventory. It's not that I'm doing this for anyone there either. It's not going to bother me if no one even notices. But at this rate, I'm gonna have about 10 lbs gone this month, and would like to go in there looking a little bit different.